Even if you are not yet sure what they are. It is a sign of brewing feelings underneath. What does this look like? It means noticing your body cues and saying, “Wow, I’m angry.” Remember that anger isn’t bad. If you fail to notice it, it will increase its intensity until you lose control. You must acknowledge Anger and the power it has. ![]() Anger cannot be eliminated, but it can be managed!!Īnger is an egotistical, demanding, and attention-seeking force. It is not possible to not feel angry, but it is possible to feel it in a healthy way. Anger, left unmanaged, can cause us to be pretty destructive and have serious health implications. So, why does it get such a bad rap? In short, because we are at our stupidest when we are at our angriest. It is only the small surface that can be seen of the iceberg, blocking our view of the pain, hurt, sadness, fears, worries, and doubts underneath. Anger is the hard exterior that protects our mushy parts. Anger can be likened to a mama bear protecting her cubs. It is a primal defense when your “fight or flight” response is triggered. Anger is only the small visible part of a deep and large mass of vulnerability. it controlling you.Īnger only appears when your primary fears or pains are activated. Identifying where your anger originates can make the difference between controlling it vs. ![]() Understanding the basics of anger, and all that lies beneath its icy mass, will help diffuse it. ![]() We flawed and imperfect humans do tend to behave negatively when angry, but at its core, anger is a necessary and healthy response. But wait- what about that powerful and all-consuming anger? Well, friends, anger is an iceberg- a secondary emotion.īefore I explain, let’s clear up Anger’s tarnished reputation. Just 3 primary human emotions: joy, fear, and pain (hurt). For the purpose of understanding anger in this discussion, we are going with three. Many different theorists posit a different number ranging from just three basic emotions up to eight. How many emotion words can you name? A lot, huh? Like really a whole bunch! While having a large vocabulary to describe your emotions, known as “feelings literacy”, has tremendous interpersonal benefits, there are only a small handful of primary human emotions. Of course, it’s real……right?! The answer is, well, sort of. What if I told you that anger wasn’t a “real” emotion? Would you believe me? It feels real enough, right? Physiologically, our bodies have a very real response to anger: sweaty palms, increased heart rate, tightened chest, tense muscles, stomach flutters, and even falling tears.
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